Something New?!

Ahh...school...

 

Hello my loves,

I am back once again! I thought I would try something new for once. I know...I know...hold your gasps.

Alright so quick update from this week: 

1. I am finally almost done with my study abroad application *fingers crossed*

2. This year, I joined Her Campus at KU! I am a campus cutie writer ;)

3. I went to a Sporting KC football match...I REPEAT A SPORTING KC FOOTBALL MATCH!

Here are some fab pics:

We kinda stole these front row seats...YOLO?

This is Mariela; she's from Costa Rica!

Mariela, Me, Adam, and Alex!

At the Top of the Stadium

The ISS Group!

And now...for the moment you've all been waiting for.... 

*drum roll please*

I am going to share some of my favorites of this month with you!

1. Garnier Miracle Skin Perfecter BB Cream

Although I usually hate this type of BB cream (because it usually makes my skin oily and causes a breakout), but this particular BB cream makes my acne go away, and it makes my skin look fabulous!

 

2. Hollister Super Skinny Jeans

 

Now I know, "Abercrombie is such a horrible company and blah blah", but these jeans are the only ones that actually fit me perfectly! They also come in a variety of washes, and I got them on sale for $20 each.

3. Plato's Closet

I have recently been thrifting a lot, and out of all the places I go, Plato's always has the best options. On the down side, Plato's is somewhat pricey. 

 

4. Coach handbags

I recently bought this gem in a Coach Outlet Store for $80 (originally $200). I love neutral purses, and when I saw this baby, I had to buy it!

5. Tae Bo

Recently, I have been trying to get my abs back, and Tae Bo is has become my go to work out. Tae Bo is a mixture of Tae Kwon Do and Boxing. I usually just search YouTube for a different Tae Bo workout every day.

6. Plum- Go Bars

 These bars are so delish and even better? They are organic and made with veggies. So far, I have only been able to find these bars at Target!

7. Dickinson's Witch Hazel Toner

This toner smells god awful but works wonders. My skin always feels tight (in a good way), and this toner doesn't dry my skin out. Oh, don't forget that it's cheap!

8. WordReference

 Okay, I know this is a website, but if you are like me (studying a foreign language), WordReference.com is the best tool. It even has an app!

 

9. Victoria's Secret Dark Orchid

This perfume smells like autumn and heaven. It's described as a dark plum with fruity undertones. 

10. TRESemmé- Platinum Strength Heat Protector

There's not much to say on this product besides: it's cheap, and it works. I've been using this heat protectant for almost 6 years.

11. Formula 10.0.6- So Totally Clean Deep Pore Cleanser

I've been using this on and off for around 2 years. Right now, I have a travel size that I got for free from Ulta. The only reason I don't use this regularly is due to the drying it causes. It is also known for burning slightly on sensitive skin, but this cleans everything out.

12. Neutrogena- Ultra Gentle Daily Cleanser

I originally bought this because I ran out of my other cleanser and decided my old cleanser wasn't working. It was cheap and seemed good for sensitive skin. Man am I glad I bought this. This cleanser is amazing and it takes off makeup while cleansing. 

13. Pink Sugar- Body Mousse

I originally bought this because it was on the sale rack at TJ Maxx for $1.99. I have repurchased this body mousse twice now because: it smells heavenly and moisturizes my body for 24 hours.

15. Hannah Maggs- YouTube

I started watching Hannah Maggs this past May, and I adore her. If you haven't watched her vlogs, you are seriously missing out.

16. Glass Animals- Hazey

Such a beautiful song

17. Live Nation App

I just bought my the 1975 tickets through them. I was one of the first to buy them, and they have the cheapest tickets.

 

Well...That's all from me.

Later Lovelies, 

 

X Amber

Heartbreaking News

 Forewarning, this could cause sad feelings. Sorry ahead of time.

So recently, my best friend (aka Taz) started having some trouble getting around. 

As in: the past 4 months, Taz has started going down in his back end.

As with all large breeds, there is always a large possibility of this happening due to hip issues or just old age and arthritis.  We thought it was the latter.

To remedy the pain we assumed him to be having, we started him on glucosamine with a vet's approval. We saw a lot of improvement. However, the past 4 months, as I mentioned, Taz started falling apart little by little. In the beginning, it was small things like: he wasn't running when toys were thrown (he would start off running then turn into a walk), he was a little slow getting up, or he simply became clumsier. Then, the last month or so, we realized how serious it was getting. Taz couldn't even run/jog for toys. He was struggling to get up. He couldn't even use the restroom without almost falling into as sitting position. Food became a struggle because he couldn't keep anything down. The final straws were when we realized Taz would wet his bed because he couldn't get up. He struggled to get up stairs (often falling multiple times) and getting in and out of his dog house was a hazard. He was simply not enjoying life like he used to. We started noticing a deterioration in his muscles, and he started dropping weight. Now before I share the inevitable, let me just say: it was the hardest thing in the world to watch. Day after day of watching him struggle and hurt. The worst was when he would look at us. His mind was there, strong and vibrant. His eyes would still get that heart stopping sparkle in them when we came home, and he still looked at us like we were his everything. Because we were. 

We decided it was time to put him down. Honestly, the choice to end a life is the hardest choice I have ever been forced to make. Taz was my baby. How could I possible put down my whole world?

The problem came down to choices: put Taz down know, before he loses all mobility and while I'm still at home, or wait for him to get worse. The worst part was knowing that he would deteriorate faster because once a dog starts to go down, the dog will be down within a few months. 

My dad set the appointment, Saturday, August 9th, 2014. We had a week to make Taz feel how much we loved him and to say our goodbyes.

 

Taz and I spent countless hours together, attempting to play, lounging around, cuddling. You name it. 

Thursday night, it hit me like a lead bullet. Up until then, it seemed like time would stop, but while laying in bed Thursday night, I realized the gravity of what would happen. I started to cry...no, not the pretty, light cry. No, the bone wrenching, heart stopping type of cry. I began searching what to expect, and everything came back with:

• Dog has option of being sedated
• Injection of pentobarbitone (same stuff used to sedate dogs during surgery), which is essentially given as an overdose
• Dog will be gone within seconds

Everything seemed so cut and dry, but to someone like me, who panics over death, it sounded like my worst nightmare.

Saturday rolled around too quickly, and I gave Taz a ton of treats and goodies.

It still hadn't hit me, yet.

Then it was suddenly 12:00, and we started to get ready: covering the pickup seats with a cover in case Taz's bowels released after death, picking his two favorite toys to bring, grabbing his leash, then finally, loading Taz up. Getting a 100+lbs dog up into a truck when his back legs are too weak to help is extremely difficult, trust me. In the end, we chose to lift him up. The way Taz climbed in placed his paws and head on my lap, which seems beautiful in one's head, but when you have to hold onto said dog while his claws are digging into your thighs because he's trying to stay laying on the seat, it is not pleasant. I couldn't be mad, though. I could never be mad at him. 

I'll skip the details here, mostly because I can barely remember anything except Taz going to sleep due to the sedative and then, falling apart. 

I feel I should mention a few facts:

1. We almost backed out when they gave Taz the sedative because he fought. He kept trying to stay focused and awake, to stay with us. It broke my heart, and I know my family felt the same.
2. I made a promise to myself that I would be the one to hold Taz when it happened, and I would keep smiling until his heart stopped beating...I did it...barely. Those few minutes of waiting for the sedative and watching everything happen destroyed me, yet somehow, I held it together until the end.
3. I did indeed cry. I make it sound so calm and mild, but trust me, I felt like I was dying. It was the worst kind of torture.
4. I was the last face Taz saw...just like I was the first face he ever saw. 
5. I held Taz like I did when I first brought him home...granted, he was only a few weeks old then weighing about 2-4lbs then, but even at 14 years old and 100+lbs, I held his little head and paws like I was Simba in The Lion King. Ya feel?

This was Taz in the sleepy faze (after the light sedative).

 

Now girlfriend, here's the hard part: questioning yourself.

I started questioning myself.

Did Taz think he did something wrong?

Did Taz feel any pain?

Does this make me the worst human on the face of the earth?

How did I do this?

Although it was one of the hardest days of my life, I felt oddly...relieved. It was like I knew that he wouldn't be in pain. I wouldn't constantly have to worry about him falling, hurting, or anything else. He is in a better place. 

And an added bonus?

I didn't panic.

Nope, not once, although I did cry for a good...mmm...8 hours.
Taz now has a place next to his favorite tree. We buried him on his night night pillow and surrounded him with all four of his favorite toys: a mini soccer ball, a tennis ball, a squeeky toy, and his piggy.
Now, he can play with all of his awesome toys in heaven with all of our other loved ones.
So, this post is for you, Taz. My best friend. I am so thankful I picked you out, you fat little lard.
Thank you for staying by my side during my first ever full panic meltdown, and thank you for loving me no matter how horrible I had acted towards you. Thank you for all the beautiful memories, and making me feel loved and special. Thank you for constantly taking the weight off of my shoulders.
I love you.

Pour toujours et toujours.

My All Time/ Current Favs- Books!

Amber hath once again appeared, 

So as many of you may (or may not if you are new here) know I am a bit of a nerd.

Nothing beats a great book in my opinion (I personally enjoy reading history or romance).

Since it is currently 10:00 pm in Portland, I decided to share with you a few of my favorite books.

1. The Kiesha'ra Series by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes

 Now, this is an oldie that I read way back in 7th or 8th grade but is amazing still. This series has 5 books, but I personally only liked the first two. The first two focus on a beautifully written love story between Danica Shardae (avian hawk shifter soon to be queen) and Zane Cobriana (serpiente snake shifter soon to be king). I don't want to give much away, but these books ripped my heart out (in a good way) and then slowly put it together again. The only negative I have for these books is some parts seem to drag on/ bore me, yet others are so action packed that you don't even know how to breathe.

2. Scoring Wilder by R.S. Grey

I've officially died and gone to heaven...what's this thing called "breathing"? Okay, let me take a moment to stop my inner fan girl. This is a fairly new book, and I bought it about...a week ago. I kid you not: I have read this book 14 times since I bought it. Let me warn you, this is not a middle school romance book; this is steamy and somewhat graphic so be warned. However, the writing was beautiful, and I am honestly in love with everything. The only negatives for me are: 1. I want my own Liam, 2. I would very much like all of this to happen to me, and 3. Everything seems to work out a little too easy if you know what I mean. I love the fact that the heroin isn't a complete wuss. She stands up for herself, yet she does it in a way that makes most girls look like classless rocks. OH MY GOD THE FEELS...EEEEEEK.

3.  The Dead-Tossed Waves (Forest of Hands and Teeth, Book 2) by Carrie Ryan

First, let me just explain this whole Amber, that's a second book in a series. Where are the others? situation we have going on. I bought this book solely for the cover, no shame. Then, I realized this was a piece of a series, but I had no motivation to even look at the others. I started this book with a slight hesitation, but let me tell you: it was nothing like what I expected. I had no idea what to think (possibly because the situation she lives in was explained in the first book), but I was like "Oh, a romance with a little suspense." WRONG. So wrong. Firstly, there is romance, but very G-rated romance: as in, he touched my hand/ I gave him a small kiss. I am usually not very into G-rated romances because I get bored fairly easily, but this book was packed with so much action and fear and.....feels. So many feels. Trust me, I'm not much of a post apocalyptic action girl, but this book is just amazing. 

4. The Queen of Babble books by Meg Cabot

I have to admit this series is a girly type and again, not for a young audience. I never really cared much about Meg Cabot because all I knew her as was The Princess Diaries author, but I stumbled upon this book while browsing Barnes and Noble. Thank you, Jesus. This series got to me deeply because at the time, I was aspiring to be a fashion designer, and I was struggling to deal with boys (don't forget the main point: she's a loud mouth who says too much. Sound familiar?). This book is filled with romance, heartbreak, travel, and amazing opportunities. It actually made me want to become like Lizzie. This series is great for a much needed girly read, and trust me, you can't just read one of the books. They all end in this annoyingly beautiful cliffhangers. Dang you Meg. 

5. Any book by Sarah Dessen

This series is targets towards girls going into high school. Each book has made me cry, and each book deals with peer pressure, boys, drugs, alcohol, and puberty (in a good way, I promise). The first book of Sarah Dessen's that I read was Someone Like You, and let me warn you, this book will destroy you. Sarah Dessen has this beautiful little gift of completely shattering you with her writing and stories, yet by the end, you have started to heal (much like her characters). My favorite books of hers are: Someone Like You, Dreamland, Lock and Key, The Truth About Forever and Along for the Ride. I have to admit that I couldn't finish That Summer, Keeping the Moon, or This Lullaby. This had nothing to do with her writing but simply, I couldn't get into the story. I bought What Happened to Goodbye, but I have yet to read it. These books are life changing. 

6. Living Dead Girl by Elizabeth Scott

Elizabeth Scott is such a talented writer, but this book has stuck with me for over 4 years. I remember it in vivid detail, and it sucked me in. This also falls out of the romance category. This is what I would call a darker novel of Elizabeth Scott's. It focuses on the kidnapping of a young girl, who is forced to stay forever young with the name, Alice. Alice knows who she was before but is trapped with her kidnapper. This is a truly heartbreaking story because it is so realistic. Alice's reactions and reasons for not running are like so many other girls trapped in her situation. This book is not for the light hearted. It is cruel, but it is still a YA book.

7. Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater

I bought this book during my Twilight (obsessed with vampires and werewolves) days. This book is so beautiful. I know werewolves aren't really a thing anymore, but this book is worth it. It is a series with three books (Shiver, Linger, Forever), but let me be honest, I couldn't even finish the second book, let alone the third. The writing went from an amazing story with an engaging plot to a train wreck. For this reason, I am only recommending this book in the series. I feel the second book follows the same plot as the first except the roles are reversed (instead of him being a werewolf, it's her). Regardless, this book is amazing. 

9. After the Dancing Days by Margaret Rostkowski

Shout out to my 8th grade English teacher who recommended this book to me because I had ran out of books. This book is a historical book (based around WWI), and it takes place in Kansas. It's a beautiful story with a twinge of romance (very small twinge). Just...read it.

10. Marie, Dancing by Carolyne Meyer

I read this in 7th grade when I started to become obsessed with France and Degas. This story revolves around one of the poor dancers that Degas paints (and then sculpts). There is romance, history, and a call to action within this book. So many things happen, yet Marie stays calm through it. Amazing. 

11. Charade by Nyrae Dawn

If you don't cry while reading this book then you are heartless. Heartless. I can't recommend this book enough. It is so beautiful, and it makes you think differently about everyone you judged. Although this book appears light at first, this book deals with so much. It addresses the big stuff: drugs, death, fear, pretending, and so much more.

13. From Rags by Suzanne Wright

I love stories with strong heroines, and Jaxx is just that. I absolutely love this book, and I just keep rereading it. There is no explanation needed. Perfection.

14. Series by Jessica Sorensen

 I purposely didn't include a picture for this one because there are two major series: The Coincidence and The Secret. These series are so amazing, but sometimes they are hard to read (because they deal with real crap, and reality is hard to read sometimes).

Okay, these next few will just be a list of classical (or what I consider classical) books that were amazing and well worth a read. 

1. Oedipus Rex- Sophocles
2. Oedipus the King- Sophocles
3. Comte de Monte Cristo- Alexandre Dumas (this is indeed in French)
4. Les Misérables- Victor Hugo (once again French)
5. Le Petit Prince-  Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (need I mention it again?)
6. Night- Elie Wiesel
7. The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas- John Boyne
8. Any Dr. Seuss book
9. Number the Stars- Lewis Lowery
10. Lolita- Vladimir Nabokav
11. Brave New World- Aldous Huxley
12. 1984- George Orwell
13. Pride and Prejudice- Jane Austin
14. Hatchet- Gary Paulsen
15. To Kill a Mockingbird- Harper Lee
16. The Outsiders- S.E. Hinton
17. The Catcher in the Rye- J.D. Salinger
18. In My Hands- Irene Gut Opdyke

There are probably millions that I have left off the list, but here you go!

Read on!

 

XX