Negativity

Negativity is everywhere. We all exude it in one way or another, and to be honest, once you get in the 'negative' slump, it's difficult to get out of. It generally starts with a critique. 

"Why is she doing _____. She's not cool." 

Yet 99% of the people who say these exact phrases try to cover their own negativity by judging others'. For example Friend A says, "Gah, my teacher is so stupid. Like, and the kid next to me is soooo annoying." Friend B replies with, "Oh my God, have you met _____? He thinks he's sooo cool, but he's such a loser." Friend A suddenly goes on the defense with, "Who are you to judge?"

Everyone has been there. I've done it, you've done it, we've all done it. So what makes one negativity better than another?

Reflection.

When I think or say something mean, I have started to automatically reflect on my reasoning.

Say I yell at my mom, "Oh my God, Mom, you're so embarrassing.", I immediately start thinking about how that will affect her. When you begin to think on what you say, you realize how spiteful and painful words can be.  
I have come to a point in my life where ego doesn't matter. Sorry does.

How can someone handle negativity? I think it differs for every person, but I can honestly say that I have found ways of handling negativity by combating it with positivity. 

Here are some of the questions that I ask myself:

• Does this hurt/ insult someone?
• Why is this important?
• Does this directly affect someone's life?
• Would this hurt me?
• How will this impact the person?

After I started to think like this, I started to actually feel happier and less anxious. 

How does one combat negativity with positivity?

The best way I can explain this is by examples so here:

• Instead of commenting on one negative thing about someone, comment about what is great about them.
• Instead of criticizing someone for having fun, join them. Dance part-ay anyone?
• Instead of thinking about how shitty today was, think of all of the great things that happened today (even if it was just being alive and waking up). (Go you!)
• Instead of critiquing yourself on minor imperfections, work on flaunting the aspects that make you feel great (like your killer smile!). 
• Instead of calling someone "stupid", "dumb", or an "idiot", think of something positive about them. Like how "cute" they are or how "smart" they are.
• Instead of crushing the successes of others, encourage them. You lost one pound? Good for you!
• Instead of saying you "hate" _____, say that you appreciate something about it, or simply say "it's not my taste/style". 
• Eliminate hate slang from your vocab. I already mentioned this, but words like: stupid, dumb, idiot, lame, fag, etc. are harmful and honestly make you look like the fool. Lose these words. You'll also gain a better vocabulary and appreciation for everything.
• Instead of trying to fit in, do what makes you happy. 
• Instead of responding to mean comments on a post you made, simply ignore it. Let others see how horrible that person is. 
• Drop all racial slurs, and racist, sexist, and any other-ist from your vocab. We are better than that.
• Instead of becoming angry or embarrassed over something, roll with it, laugh it off.
• Stop getting upset of things that won't matter.
• Remember that you are special, and "You go Glenn Coco!"

I hope this helped everyone in someway. I'm by no means saying I'm perfect at this, but I'm making a conscious effort. This is how I'm living happier and with less anxiety. How do you?

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