Casual Stripes

Hello Lovelies

Today, I have a mini outfit post. This is a very casual, typical outfit for those days that are warm but have a little breeze. I am very much about functionality in my fashion. My days consist of constantly being on the move, and I don't like to be too fussy over my outfits, otherwise I end up getting exhausted just from dealing with a high maintenance outfit.

Stripes are the most versatile print for any season, and I have so many that I should probably go to stripe lovers anonymous. They are my closet staple every year!

Top: SheIn size small
Shorts: Handmade Levi's
Shoes: GapKids size 3 (size 6 womens)

What are your styling must haves?


Talk to you soon <3

The Distance

Welcome Back!

I know it's been a hot minute since I've posted anything, so I thought I would talk about something I hear a lot.....(A LOT). As you may or may not know, I have been dating my boyfriend for over 2 years now, and while he completes his degree, we are stuck in long distance.

Photo from our trip to Montréal this past March

Just to clarify by "long distance", I don't mean he lives a few towns over; by long distance, I mean I live in the Pacific North West (PNW), while he lives in France.

Now, every time I mention it in passing, or it is brought up in conversation, I get one of two reactions:

The Debbie Downer: "How? Why? That sucks. I couldn't do that. Meh"

or

The starry-eyed romantic: "*blissful sigh* That's so [sexy/ romantic/ beautiful]. I would love to date a foreign guy. I would love to travel."

While both reactions are fine and not usually a big deal, what the Debbie Downer forgets is that yeah, it's hard, but you know what? If you truly love someone then distance isn't the end of the world, and some of us aren't lucky enough to fall in love with someone who lives in the same town/state/country/continent/whatever. So while, yes, it is hard, please stop acting like it's the end of the world.

As for the starry-eyed romantics, they always talk about how "great" it must be to be dating someone from another country....but to be honest, it can really suck. What they often forget is simple things:

• time differences
• travel costs/ visit (visas, flights, hotels, etc.)
• the almost impossible feat of trying to move to the same country without getting married (some of us actually want to ease into that instead of just marrying for a visa)
• the emotional toll it takes for you to constantly miss someone
• let's not forget the language/ cultural barrier (even if you speak 2 common languages as we do)
• the near constant pressure from everyone around us to just "find someone [in your own country]"
• the constant stress from trying to coordinate even the simple things (Skyping, travel, important events)
• oh, and the hardest one for me? not having him there when something huge happens (graduation, a panic attack, an interview, etc)

 So, while, yes, I appreciate the interest that people generally have, I do think people overlook how hard it is and how hard it's been on the couple.

So my advice for talking to someone in a long distance relationship?

• Please stop telling us how hard it must be....yes, we know. 
• Please stop over-romanticizing it....it's not all easy peasy romance movies.
• Please just understand that we told you the information to simply get it out of the way....not to make a huge deal of it. 

My advice for those thinking of starting a long distance relationship (specifically with someone from another country):

• Try your hardest to understand their culture and tell them about yours
• Make a set schedule for certain times or days to talk or Skype
• Make sure you keep sharing your life, while living it without them (share photos, videos, drawings, whatever you've done that day)
• When you feel yourself getting down or worn thin, reach out to them and let them know. If not, reach out to someone, like me, who is in a similar situation.
• Stay patient (trust me I know how hard it is to be talking and not understand what your significant other is saying...but try not to get angry...especially if your language isn't their first language)
• Give and take (try to give them space for their own life (and yours!))
• Love as passionately as you can (but if you know they aren't right for you, don't get swept up into a fake fairytale just because they are foreign/have a sexy accent/etc. because in the end, it's not fair to either of you.

Until next time,

Amber <3

One Foot In...One Foot Out

Recently, I proper traveled to two foreign countries, knowing only a few people, and I loved it.

However,

Coming back to the US, I realized something that is rather hard to deal with and that most people who travel or live abroad and come home realize and deal with..... 

I suddenly feel like I don't quite belong in either country. 

Now, this isn't supposed to deter anyone from traveling, studying, or even living abroad because it's not. What I guess I am trying to put out is that once you visit a country, you start to see your world differently. You begin to question why we do that, when X country does this, and it's much more practical.

Upon leaving London and France, I gained so much knowledge from seeing how others conduct their life and the different ways each country works to be efficient. Now that I am home, however, it often feels like I am the only one in my family, friends, etc. who seems to get that no one country is perfect, and we could all learn from each country.

Yet, I still don't belong in either country. 

In London, I was too "nice", and my country was often seen as a laughing stock due to the presidential race. 

In France, I wasn't "cultured" enough, didn't dress "properly", didn't know the "rules", and once again, my country was a laughing stock. 

In America, I am too opinionated, dress too nice, want too much, now my second homes are the ones being laughed at. 

I felt so immersed in London's culture, and eventually in France's too, but after returning home, my life seemed to lose something. My friends had gone on living their lives, and my country, along with my parents, was still the same. 

"You've changed" 

, they say.

Well yes, yes I have. And I'm not sorry about it. As humans we evolve. I am just sad that not every human can evolve and see the world and grow as much as humanly possible. 

With that said, I feel by traveling and immersing myself in another culture, I have lost a piece of my "American" identity.... never feeling French enough, English enough, American....enough. Not being X enough can be lonely, but do I regret traveling? 

Never. 

As for now, 

I live one foot in Europe, one foot in America...never quite belonging to one or the other.

Negativity

Negativity is everywhere. We all exude it in one way or another, and to be honest, once you get in the 'negative' slump, it's difficult to get out of. It generally starts with a critique. 

"Why is she doing _____. She's not cool." 

Yet 99% of the people who say these exact phrases try to cover their own negativity by judging others'. For example Friend A says, "Gah, my teacher is so stupid. Like, and the kid next to me is soooo annoying." Friend B replies with, "Oh my God, have you met _____? He thinks he's sooo cool, but he's such a loser." Friend A suddenly goes on the defense with, "Who are you to judge?"

Everyone has been there. I've done it, you've done it, we've all done it. So what makes one negativity better than another?

Reflection.

When I think or say something mean, I have started to automatically reflect on my reasoning.

Say I yell at my mom, "Oh my God, Mom, you're so embarrassing.", I immediately start thinking about how that will affect her. When you begin to think on what you say, you realize how spiteful and painful words can be.  
I have come to a point in my life where ego doesn't matter. Sorry does.

How can someone handle negativity? I think it differs for every person, but I can honestly say that I have found ways of handling negativity by combating it with positivity. 

Here are some of the questions that I ask myself:

• Does this hurt/ insult someone?
• Why is this important?
• Does this directly affect someone's life?
• Would this hurt me?
• How will this impact the person?

After I started to think like this, I started to actually feel happier and less anxious. 

How does one combat negativity with positivity?

The best way I can explain this is by examples so here:

• Instead of commenting on one negative thing about someone, comment about what is great about them.
• Instead of criticizing someone for having fun, join them. Dance part-ay anyone?
• Instead of thinking about how shitty today was, think of all of the great things that happened today (even if it was just being alive and waking up). (Go you!)
• Instead of critiquing yourself on minor imperfections, work on flaunting the aspects that make you feel great (like your killer smile!). 
• Instead of calling someone "stupid", "dumb", or an "idiot", think of something positive about them. Like how "cute" they are or how "smart" they are.
• Instead of crushing the successes of others, encourage them. You lost one pound? Good for you!
• Instead of saying you "hate" _____, say that you appreciate something about it, or simply say "it's not my taste/style". 
• Eliminate hate slang from your vocab. I already mentioned this, but words like: stupid, dumb, idiot, lame, fag, etc. are harmful and honestly make you look like the fool. Lose these words. You'll also gain a better vocabulary and appreciation for everything.
• Instead of trying to fit in, do what makes you happy. 
• Instead of responding to mean comments on a post you made, simply ignore it. Let others see how horrible that person is. 
• Drop all racial slurs, and racist, sexist, and any other-ist from your vocab. We are better than that.
• Instead of becoming angry or embarrassed over something, roll with it, laugh it off.
• Stop getting upset of things that won't matter.
• Remember that you are special, and "You go Glenn Coco!"

I hope this helped everyone in someway. I'm by no means saying I'm perfect at this, but I'm making a conscious effort. This is how I'm living happier and with less anxiety. How do you?

X