Bonjour mes amis,
Alright so, I promised to keep you updated, but I have been doing a pretty crumby job of it so far.
While we were in Portland (right after I upload my vlog actually), the software on my MacBook was deleted somehow. So, I had to go to the Apple store in downtown Portland to get it all fixed up, but now, everything is working fabulously.
Since Daddy Rayl is officially working in Portland, he had to fly back out a few days after we arrived home. I think I have mentioned before about how worried I am about their impending move. Well while he was packing, everything finally hit me like Miley Cyrus on her wrecking ball. For some reason, I just started bawling, and yes, I know I'm an ugly crier. I felt horrible for my dad because he was like...."Uh, why are you crying?? It's not like this is goodbye forever, haha." But, I just couldn't help myself. So, reality has somewhat hit.
I am actually really proud of myself in the way that I am handling all this change. When I was younger, change wasn't a big deal to me; I just adapted and went on. Now though, it's different because my parents will be away from me, and I guess that scares me a little bit. I think when I was running all the scenarios through my head, they seemed way worse than they are now that it is happening.
Anyways, I head back to Lawrence tomorrow, and I start my second semester in college.
Before that happens though, I decided to make a list of things I want to accomplish this year.
I thought about calling this list a New Years resolution, but let's be real...those never work out.
So, here we go!
- I will stop stressing the small things and start looking at the overall picture.
- I will push outside my comfort zone (whether that's flying alone or just doing something without trying to think every step through).
- I will read more. (This one shouldn't be too difficult.)
- I will study more. Last semester, I didn't study as much as I could/should have.
- I will get more involved in things I love and I am passionate about.
- I will hug and love more, and I will cut back on talking down on people.
- I will travel more.
- I will reconnect with my sense of wonder.
- I will cope with stress in healthier ways than having panic attacks, like dancing.
- I will be stronger.
- I will exercise more.
- I will eat healthier and prevent myself from diabetes.
- I will stop relying on technology so much, and if I want to talk to someone, I will talk to their faces not through a text.
- I will ready myself to go abroad.
- I will be more organized.
- I will listen to more music in all different genres.
- I will help someone in any way I can.
- I will clean my car and keep it clean.
- I will keep in touch with my friends better. Because schedules are so different, it is hard to keep up with everyone, and sometimes, your best friends fall out of touch because someone THINKS they are too busy.
- I will work on my Français more.
- I will make more friends.
- I will start to love myself more and see myself as a beautiful person. Now, this one seems so simple, but it is so difficult to be completely okay with how we are.
- I will pray more and get in touch with God again. Although I am not the most religious person out there, I want to get in better touch with God. I know Grandma isn't in pain anymore, so I will always have that to be thankful for.
- I will start thinking of how blessed I am instead of comparing my blessings to others'.
- I will listen more.
- I will call my parents at least four nights a week to say goodnight, and I will ALWAYS tell them "I love you" EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. You never know when it will be the last time.
- I will stop worrying about impressing other people or trying to fit in. It never helps how I feel about myself. Acceptance like that is only temporary.
- I will stand up for those who are being brought down.
- I will make myself available to anyone who needs someone to talk to.
- I will, at least once, do something crazy. Something that absolutely terrifies me, and I will be okay. (I'm not talking about crazy things as in stupid crazy. I mean fun crazy.)
- I will watch more Disney movies.
- I will stop dogging my mom. Hurting her doesn't help her.
- I will visit Grandma and Grandpa's grave at least once this year. It's the least I can do.
I would love to hear what you guys are going to do this year!
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